
Go be a homophobe somewhere else, Azealia. The world’s greatest new female rapper has just crashed into our lives. Tell your cousin you can’t pick her up until tomorrow. But you know what? Awkwafina’s version is still awesome, and “NYC Bitches” just strengthens the point. And until I started doing some internet sleuthing the day after I wrote this, I’d forgotten about Margaret Cho’s “ My Puss,” which is also a response to Mickey Avalon’s song. In general, know that your body is deserving of pleasure, and that you taste just fine as you are - but if you'd like to try to make sure you're as clean as possible, the above tips should help put your mind at ease.UPDATE: I probably should’ve mentioned that this song is a response to Mickey Avalon’s “My Dick,” which is referenced in the stories I link to below. If you’ve experienced abuse, I recommend working with a therapist to process your experiences. Sexual abuse can deeply impact your body confidence and the sense of connection you have to your own body.

You didn’t say that you’ve been abused in your email, but I wanted to mention it since so many women don’t make the connection. Tapping into that sense of collective pain and outrage can really help put things into perspective.įinally, I just want to make a quick note that a lot of women have trouble receiving oral sex due to past experiences of sexual abuse. Think about your current or future daughters or nieces, or other little girls being taught to feel ashamed about their own bodies. If you can’t get fired up on your own behalf, think about your best friend struggling with negative thoughts about her own body. Remember that you only feel worried about your smell and taste because society has programmed you to feel bad about your body. Try thinking about that the next time you find yourself feeling self-conscious about your partner going down on you. I get fired up in the moment, and that anger, outrage, and sadness actually help me come back into my body and be more gentle with it. As soon as I notice my own self-consciousness surface, I get pissed off, because I know that’s not how I really feel about my body that’s how I was taught to feel.
#My vag how to
It also often makes us feel undeserving of our partner’s focus and attention.Īs a sex therapist, I teach other women how to feel more confident in the bedroom, and I still find myself hesitating to receive oral sex at times too. It makes us feel ashamed of our bodies, and it can make us feel unworthy of pleasure. This socialization gets in early and deep, and it is profoundly harmful to our self-esteem and our sex lives. From the time we even start becoming aware that we have vaginas, we’re taught to believe that they’re weird, gross, smelly, and icky.

So, let’s get to the real heart of what this question is really about: the ways that we have been socialized to be ashamed of our bodies. Why We Worry So Much About How We Taste in the First Place Sex doesn’t take place in a perfectly sanitized bubble.

I just mean that sex can involve sweating, saliva, semen, vaginal juices, menstrual fluid, anal residue, farting, queefing, and so much more. I don’t use that word in a negative way, or to imply that your vagina itself is messy. It’s also important to realize that sex is a naturally “messy” act. Of course, if you notice any significant changes to the color or smell of your discharge, it’s worth making an appointment with your OB/GYN to ensure you don’t have an infection or STI.
